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We spent the first day checking out spots that afforded the necessary degree of seclusion, and settled on one that one of Holly’s fans had suggested. There were abandoned warehouses set back from one of the main roads out of town, the site earmarked for redevelopment. Round the back of them, the old staff car park was equally abandoned and, more importantly, hidden from almost every view.“Are you sure you still want to go through with this?” I asked Holly.She nodded, staring straight ahead. “You know I do,” she said. “And I know you do too.”Back at the B&B we sent a message to twelve of Holly’s admirers – those we deemed might be able to make it, not really expecting all of them to, perhaps about half. “Exclusive one-off show! Holly will be performing live, in-car, this Sunday at ten o’clock A.M.” Directions were added.We spent the Saturday exploring Eastbourne, both of us too consumed with nervous anticipation to pay much attention to the sights. Though Holly had shown herself off. “Why do you hate me so much?”She looked into my eyes. “Because you destroyed my life.”“How did I do that?”“By marring me. All my life I have been a possession, But when I was a little girl I had a dream that one day someone would rescue me and love me and I would belong with someone rather than too someone. I knew that it would never happen so I had reconciled and accepted that I would be a possession and that is all I would ever be. I had everything figured out. I had boiled everything down to a simple formula. I could live my life being owned or take my life and be free. Simple huh. So far I have decided that being owned is good enough for me until it isn’t any more.“How did my marring you screw that up?”“Our marriage fed the dream, I had everything worked out and my life, while not very pleasant was acceptable. I was ok with being a cunt. My problem is that I need to be used, otherwise I have no value. I could live with not being loved as long as I was needed, even if to be needed.
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