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" A what?" Bob looked confused."A wingman. A bro. A partner in crime," he explained unhelpfully. "Look, I'll take seconds. I mean, you're a decent looking bloke, so your seconds are probably a lot better than I could do on my own."A light switched on in Bob's head; he was talking about picking up girls! Bob almost laughed out loud at Spike's tragic misfortune to attach himself to the one person in the bar most able to repel a woman, any woman, attractive or otherwise. The idea of two men working together to meet girls struck him as simultaneously absurd and eminently sensible at the same time. Just the sheer number of things that could go wrong: how do you decide who gets which girl? What if you both want the same girl? What if they both want the same guy? What if two hit it off and the other two don't? Or – and this was so horribly perfect that Bob understood it would almost certainly happen: what if you started out with one pairing and then everybody wanted to switch? It was utter. And just when I needed to take a dump. Whatever happened to that unspoken rule? The one where the last person who uses up the toilet paper has to replace it. Obviously, that rule didn't apply to my family, because that would be asking too much of them. But that's to be expected when you consider that we're your typical suburban screw-ups that look normal on the outside but are totally dysfunctional on the inside.Mom and dad always work, leaving Tracy and I to fend for ourselves. That's how committed they are to their careers. And then there's Tracy. She spends most of her time riding around on her skateboard with her grungy guy friends. Tracy is in her final year of high school and her grades are going to hell. I wouldn't be surprised if they held her back. As for me, I'm in my second year of college. I don't know what I'm going to major in yet, so I'm just taking the essentials for now.Anyway, getting back to my problem. After doing a quick check of the hall closet and finding it.
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