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Of course I knew that Alex had changed me, had awaken some part of me that had been hidden so deep inside that I was completely unaware of its existence, but seeing it on screen, getting to watch myself, made it all so much more real. When I had shown up to his house that day, I had hated him. Hated him for what he was making me do, hated that he had offered such a paltry sum for a sex act that most of the women I knew wouldn’t even consider. Hated myself for allowing it. And then something happened. Something more than just an orgasm with a finger in my ass, although certainly tied to that moment. I realized that (even more than Alex, more than my inability to offer any meaningful resistance) the thing I had hated most was what I was becoming. I had hated the fact that his control was turning me on. Hated that it took nothing more than a command and seeing the red light lit up on his camera to turn me into some kind of sexual animal, eager to please even the most sordid demands. I. Another group meeting, I thought, why couldn't theyhave said this stuff earlier."Jane we are very happy to tell you that your performance has beenremarkable this past month. With great discipline you have become a slavethat does what she is told and has grown very good in doing her chores,cooking and serving us sexually." Thank you, Miss." I didn't really know what else to say, I didn't reallywant to know I was good at being a slave."Though there have been regularly outbursts about your lack of enthusiasmfor your role in this house, you've never actually not done something,and for that we are proud and your rent has gone into your account. Youwill not be getting kicked out" I nodded as the girls smiled at me, theyactually seemed genuine smiles, not just cruel ones.Trish carried on, addressing her notes. "However, going into the nextmonth, it is the lack of enthusiasm and negativity that we would like toaddress and improve upon. We think that the attending lectures in femmewill help,.
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