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All girls did was giggle. It didnt take a rocket scientist to understand that my thoughts werent normal for a guy. I suffered in my lonesome lust for several years without any hope of acting on it. I was closeted and, as far as I knew, the only remotely gay person around. I grew up just outside of Orlando, Florida in a small town youve only heard of if youre a regular traveler on the Florida I-75 corridor. Small, Conservative, Christian. Football was king and men were men. Add to that a healthy dose of athletic competition by shirtless, tanned teenage boys and you have a good picture of the chaste yet taunting hell I lived in. Water, water all around but not a drop to drink. Despite the athletic competitiveness of my small town I was never an athletic kid or teen. I was the nerdiest guy of the boys in my grade and there were only 30 of us. We were all pretty close having been in almost all of the same classes since preschool. And many of them ran track, swam, or played soccer. I. He was, she said, everything I had claimed: He was sweet, smart, and articulate beyond his modest years. Wonder Boy, that was Eddie.OK, I was glad she felt that way. So, Emmy? How was the job? Have you done any more thinking about Graduate School in the fall?"Eddie's worried about you," Emily said."Hey! I thought we were talking about you -- for a change," I said. It was my last try, it turned out. Seems Emily had a Topic A in mind, too. And, this trip, Topic A wasn't Eddie.It was me."Eddie doesn't have to worry about me, I'm fine," I declared. I think I sounded pretty convincing. Hell, I thought what I was saying was true!"Eddie says you're spending too much time worrying about him," Emily said. "He says you need to worry more about yourself, and your needs." The kid is bright. Precocious, even. But he's not a Goddamned psychiatric social worker," I told her. "He can't decide what's wrong with me." But, he can have an opinion... You're the most important person in his life!" He's.
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