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I was so out of touch with the idea of us having a family that pregnancy came as a complete shock to me. That trip to the doctor because I felt ‘strange’, not sick but weird, was meant to be routine, and because my period was two weeks late. Even with those tell tale signs I had nothing in my mind that told me pregnancy. But there it was. I had fallen pregnant to Peter. When I came home and told Peter, he was euphoric. I wasn’t sure about keeping the baby, but he said that it had been given to us and we must care for it. I agreed, although hesitant. I was uncomfortable about doing it without planning, but when I sat and gave it some thought there wasn’t much to do. In retrospect I think I feared losing the world that meant so much to me. We’d been married now for three years and we lived together in the cottage. We had plenty of money and because I ran my own practice, I’d easily hire a small team of accountants and therefore keep my job and keep earning. Together we saw me in the. The faithfulness of my wife during that time was never in question. I didn’t know it at the time, but that was the very best years and I know now that I did love her. Out marriage was simply one of the millions of casualties of the Viet Nam war. Lyndon Johnson was the real culprit in the demise of my marriage. I can’t seriously blame MaryAnn. Oh, she could have handled it better, but shit, so could I. Several times in this narrative I alluded to our having an “open marriage.” That wasn’t the complete truth. Open marriage, in my understanding, is like a swinging lifestyle. Each partner was free to have sex “in the open” with no recriminations, or jealousy. Truth again, every time I thought about MaryAnn fucking or sucking Vince I would get physically ill. Maybe if I had embraced the lifestyle like the Maddens, I would still be married to MaryAnn. Who knows?MaryAnn’s slimy lawyer would not agree to a clean divorce but demanded a separation period hoping that congress would pass the.
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