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A typical teenager, I had one too many and Roger offered to give me a ride home. It was there, in his car, after he had parked in a dark, secluded spot that he reached over and began rubbing my cock through my pants. Drunk, horny and my defenses down, I didn’t even try to stop him. It felt incredible and when he started to undo my fly, I may have even shifted in my seat to give him better access. My head was swimming, my mind spinning as he took my hard cock in his mouth. Warm and wonderful, it was the best feeling of my young life and I let him bring me to an earth shattering orgasm, filling his mouth with my sperm. The next morning I told myself never again, I was so nieve. I remember being so nervous to see him again at work. Turns out, I had good reason to be. Roger almost immediately began saying things to me like, how good it was, how he couldn’t wait for our next time. I was so afraid someone else might hear. When I told him I didn’t want to again, Roger said that if I didn’t. If there’s a specific thing my partner doesn’t enjoy, I’m content as long as there are enough alternatives. But my darker, more dangerous desires are something I can’t just turn on and off without consequence. They’re always there, lurking in the background. It’s not, by the way, like I haven’t tried to bury them in a locked casket and throw away the key. All but one of my therapists did their very best to help me find a way around them, to put them behind me, to break their hold on me, but nothing worked.”“Finally, one therapist — in fact, the one I still have on call in case I ever need her; though it’s been a while, I’m going to talk to her today — suggested that I try the opposite. She said that, since there was some primal instinct within me that chose to survive by ‘enjoying’ what they did to me, allowing myself to experience, and even enjoy, the rest might be the only way to control it and make it part of a fully consensual sex life, just as I have with everything else. And.
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