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#6 Men have 2 motivations: hunger and hanky panky, and they can’t tell them apart. If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich.#5 Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won’t bother you for weeks, months, maybe years.#4 Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing.#3 All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.#2 In the 60’s, people took LSD to make the world weird. Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal.#1 Life is like a jar of jalapeno peppers. What you do today may be a burning issue tomorrow.Please share this wisdom with others while I go to the bathroom.This is compliments of PepereOld one, but still good for a laugh.ALTAR BOY’S CONFESSION ‘Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl.’The priest asks, ‘Is that you, little Dominic Savino?’‘Yes, Father, it is.’‘And who was the girl you were. Of course, even I would not do something that stupid!Along toward 8:30 the next morning, I was in a general store picking up some supplies when I heard a fusillade coming from down the street. Now, I have as much curiosity as the next man, but I know better that to stick my head in the way of a bullet, so I looked carefully around the door to try to see what was causing the noise. In the process, I was nearly knocked down by two customers and the proprietor rushing outside to check up. One of them screamed as he was hit by a stray bullet. God, how dumb some people can be!There was chaos down there in front of the bank. Four men, in the traditional dusters and masks, were blazing away at some townspeople who were shooting back. One of the robbers (who else would be wearing a duster and a mask?) was holding a saddle bag that looked like it was very heavy. With all of this shooting, nobody was hurt, except for the idiot who had bumped into me. The robbers ran to their horses and dashed.
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