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Buddhism 2: If shit happens, it isn’t really happening TO anyone.Buddhism 3: Shit will happen again to you next time.Buddhism 4: What is the sound of one shit happening?Buddhism 5: Shit will happen to you again.Buddhism 6: Only he who totally gives up the desire for shit will have salvation.Calvinism 1: Shit happens because you don’t work hard enough.Calvinism 2: Shit is predestined to happen.Calvinism 3: If you’re not saved, tough shit.Canine-ism: Shit happens in the neighbor’s yard.Cannibalism: Don’t eat the shit.Capitalism 1: That’s MY shit!Capitalism 2: If you’re going to sell that shit, at least make a profit.Capitalism 3: How much is that shit?CargoCult: A barge will come and take all the shit away.Catholicism 1: Our shit is the One True Shit and we can trace our shit back to Jesus.Catholicism 2: If shit happens you deserve it. And Jesus died for your sins.Catholicism 3: You were born shit, you are shit, and you will die shit.Catholicism (Old) 1: mauris contingit (literally:. A knife fell to the ground and she bent over to pick it up gifting my thankful eyes with a plump cameltoe that looked like it was made separately and stuck between her butt cheeks. My pole which had been hovering about half mast immediately straightened to full height. I stood there for about two minutes staring at the fleshy delight before tip toeing my way closer. When I was about a foot and a half from her she started to turn around and was so startled by my unexpected presence she nearly fell over. “Damn, Mike, you mustn’t creep up on people like that, you could have stopped my heart. Right now it’s going like a horse on a track” “Let me see.” I said and quickly brought my hand around to her left side chest and cupped a soft breast, gently massaging it as I placed my other hand against her stomach and pulled her close to me, letting my stiff dick jab her lower back. “I’m sorry.” “You nearly stopped my heart now you’re stabbing me in the back.” She said, laughing, and.
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