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I didn’t even have the looks or build as far as I could see. It didn’t stop me from wanting to become a gad though. In retrospect there were definite signs of me being too much of a goody goody two shoes until that point in my life. Because the town I was in wasn’t overflowing with girls who could speak English not too many chances came my way over the next few months and although it was a lovely location and relaxed atmosphere at work it didn’t bother me too much when I had a few skirmishes with my Jehovah’s Witness boss and we mutually decided to part company I returned to England with an empty agenda. Yes a job would be nice but by working onsite abroad for a while now I had enough funds to tide me by. My initial travel took me to Manchester to stay at my mother’s place. I wasn’t averse to sleeping on the couch.Nothing much happened there until Terry, an agent I had known for a few years called me with the offer of an interview for a very short term but good money job in St. ..all fantasies of mine.Yes, it's an oxymoron. I watch lesbian or heterosexual porn while reading gay porn. It does not seem to make sense at first, but in reality it does.When I read gay stories I get drawn in and imagine myself as the straight man, the white man, or the blackmailed man (on rare occasions all three in one).Yet, when I watch porn, I just see a guy sucking another guy and that doesn't turn me on. It, ironically, seems gay and although I love sucking cock, I strangely don't see myself as gay: I don't find men attractive, I don't want to kiss a man, I don't date a man. I just want to suck his cock, swallow his load and leave. The rationale is bizarre, and many reading this will say I'm in denial...if you suck cock you're gay...but life is never that black and white.I pull out my fleshlight, I highly recommend Stoya (the Pirates special edition), lube my cock feverishly with astroglide and slide my cock in the nice tight plastic pussy. I start slowly, fucking the plastic.
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