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I am so vulnerable but a look in the mirror sweeps my concerns into the backgroundI say out loud. "I desperately want to leave this house, I desperately want to go to a prom, I desperately want to be a girl."And I start to cry. I so need someone to reaffirm that I am a girl. But all I can do is stare at the mirror with a forlorn look. I see Anne's digital camera in the open dresser drawer and take a couple of pictures of myself. At least I will be able to capture the moment. After about a half an hour I masturbate again and the frenzied obsession that had hit me the instant Anne went out the door starts to dissipate. With a resigned sigh, I start to clean up. Anne will be back in less than an hour. I take one last look at myself and try to think about any way I could remain in this outfit. Reluctantly, I start to methodically replace her things. The jewelry is replaced and the box closed. I remove the gloves and, giving them a good tug, put them where I found them. I reluctantly take. Her dad was interested in Panthea and the farm and she ensured he understood that they had gotten by only with a lot of help. She’d been very scared, she admitted, but Lauren was alright now that her father was back.She’d asked about her mother and there was some hope that she was okay, information from a day or two before suggested she was alive and might even be on her way to them.Conversation died down as both of them became sleepy. Her dad snored softly, leaning against the door, and Lauren did what felt right and leaned against him. His arm wrapped around her shoulder and she smiled, content for the first time in a long while.Lauren could smell her father’s scent. It was familiar but rough, definitely her dad but tainted with sweat and anxiety. Still, it was another comfort, to breath against his chest and take it in. “I love you, Dad,” she whispered, but no response came as he continued to sleep.Would I really fuck him? Lauren asked herself. It’s just a fantasy, right? Now that.
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