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My urges so strong, so controlling, I would usually lay awake at night thinking about sucking cock, not able to fall asleep until I masturbated. Through the years, the feelings and urges only increased and became stronger. Barely a teenager, I secretly now only fantasized about cock. Fighting my urges, afraid of what family and friends might think, it was a few more years until I had my first experience with another male. I masturbated every night, sometimes two or three times to the thought of sucking cock, any cock really. It went beyond curiousity. I had fantasises about kissing men pleasuring them and even being taken by them. Having them use my ass and mouth for their sexual needs. I was sure these were not common thoughts and had no idea where they came from. All I knew I could not stop thinking about them. My first was much older, a neighbor down the street. Later I realized he was probably into young boys, and wanted me, but probably not as much as I wanted him. I was. In our bed. I was furious, but she just glared at me, and said I wasn't good enough for her. That she could do better than me, and was leaving me. She actually laughed at me as she walked out the door, leaving me standing there, face red with humiliation and heartbreak. I couldn't believe she did that to me, and submerged myself in work for the next week, but kept coming back to the memory of her laughing down at me. It made me furious. I moped around my apartement, now with her gone, having moved in with her new, rich boyfriend. I did all the working out and excercising that gave her those benefits, because she was too lazy to do anything. I thought she loved me, and wanted to make her happier with that, but now. Finally, I got angry and decided to do something about this. Since I'd taken over her so often, I seemed to have developed an affinity to her body, and was able to sleep walk into her at much greater distances than with anyone else. That night, after.
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