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“You love the taste” “Give in to your urges” “You love cock. You are a faggot!” The words and images bled into my brain. I was so turned on. I felt as if the videos knew me better than I knew myself. Maybe I was a sissy, I thought to myself, maybe I was a cock loving faggot. I have to admit I have had the feelings expressed in the videos, but never thought about them in that way. Never had them thrown in my face so blatantly. I was attracted to Kara, but drawn to Darren’s cock. Maybe I was bisexual, somehow the thought never occurred to me. It always seemed that you had to be one or the other. The was no real middle ground, I thought. But maybe there truly was, maybe not. “One taste of cum and you are a cocksucking faggot for life” one video said. I like girls! I’m a man! I’m big and strong, how can I be a faggot!?! I thought. So confused.I had no idea. People come in all shapes and sizes and all forms of sexual identity. Why should I be any different? Why should I fight my feelings. "The only other time it gets like that is in the mornings when I have to go pee. But don't worry I don't feel like that now. This feels wonderful!" I was not old enough to be able to ejaculate but the feeling just got better and better. I never felt any big release, but the feeling was fantastic. I asked Julie if she had heard anything about fucking. She had heard about it but was real unsure of what it was. I figured it was probably what my parents did when my dad would get on top of my mother and kind of humped up, and down. Sometimes my mother was on her back and sometimes she was on her stomach. I had only seen it a couple times in the past and with the new information I now had regarding how girls were made, things started clicking in my head. I told Julie that I think I know what fucking is. You lay on the bed and I get on top of you and put my dingus in your hole that feels so good. But I think that my dingus has to be hard to do that because I can only go inside you with my.
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