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"Can you go somewhere else?" asked Ashley, finally."No," I said. "I was involved. I should be here."And so it was that I became the elephant in the room, while the three of them engaged in a huddle, like they'd done countless times before. Except it wasn't a typical huddle. One or the other of them kept glancing at the elephant as they talked. I must confess that I was a little shell shocked myself. After all, she'd insisted they could not find out about us, and yet she had fairly yelled it from the rooftop. So I'll just give you some of what I remember being said. You'll have to figure out who said what yourself, because I don't remember."You didn't!" Yes, I did!" (sobs)"We weren't supposed to!" I knooooow." But you did it? You really did it?" Yes." More than once? Didn't you say four times or something?" (glance at me)"Let me think. At bedtime. Then when we woke up." You slept with him?" (gasp and glance at me)"Yes, it was so good to be there all night." And he jumped your bones?". KYRIE ELEISON: The only Greek words that most Catholics can recognize besides gyros and baklava. (for you non-Catholics it means Lord have mercy)MAGI:The most famous trio to attend a baby shower.MANGER:Where Mary gave birth to Jesus because Joseph wasn't covered by an HMO.(The Bible's way of showing us that holiday travel has always been rough.)PEW:A medieval torture device still found in Catholic churches.PROCESSION:The ceremonial formation at the beginning of Mass consisting of altar servers, the celebrant, and late parishioners looking for seats.RECESSIONAL:The ceremonial procession at the conclusion of Mass led by parishioners trying to beat the crowd to the parking lot.RELICS:People who have been going to Mass for so long, they actually know when to sit, kneel, and stand.TEN COMMANDMENTS: The most important Top Ten list not given by DavidLetterman.USHERS:The only people in the parish who don't know the seating capacity of a pew.Little known facts about the Catholic Church in Las.
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