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In his most even, measured tone, he asked, "Is this yours?" Linda's eyes got wide for a moment and she quickly walked over to the bowl and said, "Oh gosh, I'm sorry, Pete. I must have forgot it." She grabbed the bowl and quickly took it over to the sink, but Pete put his hand on her shoulder and stopped her. "Let me ask you, Linda. If this were last week, would that have earned you a demerit?" Linda froze, still holding the bowl. She dropped her chin slightly and after a moment, replied simply, "Yes." Pete used his fatherly tone of voice again and said, "Well, then I think I know what's necessary. Please put that down and come with me." He headed out into the living room to his large chair. Linda put down the bowl and spoon and followed him. He sat down in the chair and she stopped in front of him. From over on the couch, Laura saw them come in and looked up from her studies. "Now, take your pants and panties down and get over my knee," he said. Linda bit her lip and slowly moved her. Then he stood and kept going.“Dying isn’t a problem. Matt and I have talked about it a lot and he’s helping his brothers and sisters understand what’s going on. No. The problem is that I don’t trust any of you to do my eulogy when I’m gone. Just look at Brian and Carl, my best friends in the world, and they’re both standing there with tears running down their cheeks. They just can’t see the humor in this. I can. So I’ve decided to do my own eulogy now while I’m strong enough to stand up here and be heard.” Christ! He was right of course. Just saying what he did had all of us crying.“Back between fourth and fifth grade, Carl and I put on a growth spurt. Suddenly we were almost six feet tall. It was awesome. We both wanted to play basketball. Then Carl’s brother and two of his friends hauled us aside. They were going into junior high. It didn’t make any difference how big we were, they were tougher. Once Carl and I were lying on the ground with the three guys sitting on us to make sure.
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