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I felt a hand on my shoulder, and I turned and saw Alexia, only this time she was smiling at me."Look David, I'm sorry about what I said, and I apologize." Oh it's OK, I understand." No, I don't think you do. I was raised in the South and blacks and whites don't mix all that much regardless of what you have seen or heard so I guess I was a bit stunned when you introduced yourself." Oh I do understand Alexia and I can appreciate your predicament. I didn't know that my mom had married a black man until he opened the door the day I arrived home from Italy." Seeing the amused look on my face Alexia roared with laughter."I'll bet that WAS a surprise, my dad's a pretty good-sized man." Good sized? God Alexia, he's a giant! And it was a surprise, but to be honest this is the West Coast and things are pretty laid back out here. The sixties and all that, I guess. I grew up in the City and this is as a homogeneous group of races as you'll ever run into in any city, anywhere."The next week went. "It made me pathologically selfish. I saw everything and everyone in terms of what was in it for me. I barely recognized there was another side to the equation. And, to take a page from your ubiquitous math analogies, the equation was always an inequality - Ashley is greater than whomever."It denied me the ability to appreciate almost everything. I had almost everything I wanted. I could do whatever I wanted. I could get almost anything I wanted and I never had to make much of an effort for any of it. How could I value anything when it came so effortlessly?"Look at all the work you did for me in high school and it cost me nothing. My grades cost me little effort. And all the help I got from others toward grades or whatever else I rarely even had to ask for. It was offered up on the altar of my beauty."It prevented me from gaining any understanding of responsibility. If I didn't do something, if I omitted something, if I didn't properly appreciate the things being done for me or given.
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