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In these dangerous days of gangland warfare, no news was good news wherever we parked our asses when the Sun was doing a Houdini on the Pacific horizon.Ramon was heartbroken about splitting with his pretty-lipped Lesbian neighbor lady and I could empathize with his strange relationship derby. It gave me a pain in the ass just thinking about the incongruity of their twisted ties behind a closed bedroom door.A pair of muscle-bound L.A. detectives cornered me waiting for the elevator at the lawyer’s office and I pretended to be happy to see them, like we were ass-hole buddies re-united after a long sojourn in some limbo of boring inactivity. They knew I was a fucking liar and I think even a casual observer could tell I was a double-dealing prick.Inside the elevator, they worked me over with their brass knuckles and leather-covered saps using expert maximum leverage in dishing out pain with minimal visible damage. Those L.A. cops were highly skilled in that area not at all like the Vegas. Despite me going by the Universe, I can actually watch over a multiverse. But that doesn’t have the same ring to it, and nobody ever seeks help from the multiverse. So I ran through some ideas and figured giving you control over someone in your own universe would have some messy consequences. Purely hypothetically, of course, you definitely aren’t my second try at this and certainly not my fifth try because that would be embarrassing if I wrecked 5 universes before figuring out that I needed to do cross universe control. Or at least I hope cross universe control works, but why wouldn’t it?”“So I’ve got this metal collar that will act as a conduit for your choices. It has your name engraved right here, see where it says Sam? That is your name right? Now I’m going to just drop this into another universe and I’ve enchanted it so that whoever picks it up will be inclined to put it on. Then you can watch their lives unfold, and when I see fit I’ll freeze time in their world and let you.
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