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Economy was rough, society was brutal; I could hardly take her out to eat anymore with all of the budget cuts. There for a while, I thought I couldnt even raise my own daughter. But once I had her back in my arms, something in me clicked. I was able to push past the depression and tragicness of the death of my wife, and managed to get back on my feet. I got a new, better job; one where I can work from home. I payed my bills on time, got her into a nice new school, and even had enough extra money to get us nice clothes and toys for her, and I was even able to take her to Chucky Cheese's for her birthday. Life seemed to be taking a step in the right direction. But the suffering wasnt over. I remember that afternoon so clearly. I went to her school at 1:15 like always, happy to pick her up on a marvulous Friday. I didnt tell her yet, but I decided to take her with my pay raise to go see her role model Elmo in a live concert. I waved as I saw her run out of the school gates. Wow, I. My wife can be irritating enough without me having to listen all day, every day, to her reciting chapter and verse about what a big mistake I made in allowing you and Ellen to develop your relationship." I'm sorry too Tom. I don't envy you a bit. It's a sorry mess I've gotten us all into and I'm regretting it more every day. Please tell Ellen that I'd rather she come over and shoot me just like she promised. I deserve it, and she'd be doing me a favor by putting me out of my misery. Tell her if she doesn't hurry up and do it, I might just do it myself." He looked at me, probably trying to see if I was serious about shooting myself or not. I had really thought about doing it. I felt bad about Joan, and about doing such a dumb thing, and getting caught, and about my mother's reaction to my infidelity. I had always promised myself that I'd be so different than my father, and I was as bad, if not worse than he was. One of the things that kept me from doing it was that it felt like a.
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