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Distant.I mean there was the obvious: he didn't want to talk about his time overseas, but that wasn't really surprising. He had been in two shooting conflicts and seen men die. He also seemed unable to hold constant eye contact, as if he were ashamed of something.And, there was something else... his demeanor in the bedroom had totally changed.In the past, he would snap his fingers and point to his cock and his happily submissive wife (meaning me) would immediately drop to my knees and suck his cock... I was a natural submissive and had always loved the task of being ordered to my knees to bob on a cock. I had sucked his cock cued only by a snap of his fingers hundreds of times, including while he watched sports, while he was on his laptop watching porn, while he was on the phone, while we were in the back of a taxi and while he was driving, just to name a few.And although you may think that made him a dominant asshole, he wasn't. He could be tender and loving too, but when it came to. I didn't have anything, I wore hats all the time to hide my fuzzybuzzed head, and I didn't even know how to live life as Jess yet, butsomehow life went along fine anyway and I never wanted for anything.Well, maybe one thing. I wanted to be able to talk like a woman. But ifyou want to do something, and you can't do it perfectly, you just haveto do it anyway as best you can. Hanging out with the other girls helpedthe most. They weren't surprised that I talked like a boy, andunderstood how I was trying to imitate them and fit in. Being a masseusewas a small safe place to practice, too: "Please undress and get underthe covers." "Tea or water?" "Too hard?" I could practice these littlephrases.Bit by bit, all these rough edges were sanded down. I stopped needing totry to talk "like a woman," and talked like myself, without ever feelinglike I sounded like a boy. My hair grew out. I learned how to take careof it. I went from borrowing clothes from my friends to having my ownidea about which.
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