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Dad needed it; Jack gave it. That’s not the way I had seen it. Dad did what Dad wanted to do because he wanted to do it. And if it hadn’t been with Jack, it would have been with someone else.I needed it now. I wanted Jack to give it to me.I could see that and Mom couldn’t see any of this, and she and I fought so much over that point that I guess it was easy for her to leave me with Dad and Jack when she packed up and left the state. We still talked occasionally, but not much at all in the last two years. When Dad had been killed in that freak busted play on the football field in Memphis and Mom had called and told me she was sending a ticket for me back to Tallahassee and I told her I wanted to stay with Jack—and why I wanted to stay with Jack—she hung up on me and hasn’t spoken to me since. All there were were occasional terse e-mails asking if I’d changed my mind or threatening what she’d do if there was a hint of Jack stepping out of line with me. She said she’d go straight to the. I was always told I was good looking and had my choice of women. I completely worship a woman's body, tight ass, large B or C cup tits and that perfect lower back curve. But then, around my mid teens I started to notice dicks. In the locker room. soft but in all sizes, I felt no attraction to any other part of the male body, just found myself being intrigued by those dicks, what they felt like soft, what it would be like to see and touch them as they got hard. what the impulse might be to do more than touch. There were times I would jerk off instead of fucking available girls and women around me just so I could think of those cocks. I would start touching myself while soft and closing my eyes and seeing those cocks and feel myself get hard and then think about them feeling as hard and throbbing as my own until I came. This went on for a couple of years, never acting on it at all. After I turned 18 I found an adult bookstore in Hartford that was far enough away from home to make me.
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