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I hold her for minutes, ten, fifteen, until her breathing has changed into a soft tempo and I know she is asleep.Cautiously, so as not to awaken her, I pick her up in my arms to take her to her bed. Still asleep, she nestles tight against me, her arms around my neck, relying in me completely, without the slightest hint of suspicion or doubt. She is serene in the knowledge that I will not harm her or violate her trust in me.She rouses slightly when I lay her on the bed but in moments her breathing has returned to the soft, rhythmic, cadence of sleep. I know that, for her comfort, I should remove her dress but I do not trust myself to be exposed to her soft, yielding flesh.I pull the covers up and turn to leave when her hand grasps my wrist. "Wait, stay with me, come take off your clothes and get into bed with me."This is absolutely forbidden! Every fiber of my being rebels as I remove my shirt, my shoes and trousers and slip into the bed with her, wearing only my under shorts. She. No, I didn't get a sex-change operation, although gender reassignmentsurgery really is a more correct name for that procedure. The surgeryand hormone therapy doesn't change a person's gender; it simply matchesthe gender of their body to the gender of their mind.Twenty-two years ago I was the warden of this facility. I was a 62-yearold man named Howard Adams. I had worked here for thirty-nine years,ever since my graduation from the police academy, and had been promotedto warden seventeen years earlier. People always said my work was mylife, and they were right. I had no social life, and I had nevermarried, due to my gender identity issues.When I was a very young man, I realized that I identified with thefemale role in society in every aspect. I knew by the time I was eightyears old, and maybe sooner, that I should have been born a girl. Ofcourse I never told a soul, though I was unusually close to my dearmother, God rest her soul. I hurried home after school every day so Iwould have.
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