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I am walking through everyday life, yet I am still invisible, still adrift. I work, I eat, I mainly drink. The dream becomes a blur as I become drunk. For a moment I forget I am alone. Only for a moment. As the alcohol soaks into my sleeping self I become further detached. There is no life in the ocean, there is only me. When I awake I find I have washed up onto land. My boat is in pieces along the shore. I am cut and bruised, blood oozing from my open wounds. I know I am alive. The blood tells me. I stop and listen to my blood. It is the first voice I have heard in days, months, centuries. It tells me secrets about myself, things I never wanted to know. Falling to my knees I begin to cry. Only the gulls answer me. I sit and stare across the water. On some shore I cannot see across the blue waste of water lies a place that once may have been home. I try to remember what it was like there, what I did, who I loved. I almost remember when my wounds reopen and I allow myself to sink. Then, when Mara one day showed me the pregnancy test she'd taken, and that it showed a positive result, I felt an even more intense sense of sexual excitement; that Mara was carrying within her womb, the baby that she and Omar, together, had created! I got an erection as she and I looked at the test results; and I was exceedingly thrilled; for her, first of all; for Omar as well; and for me, too! Even though I wasn't the biological father of the baby Mara was carrying, that made no difference to me! None at all. The health, the well fair, and the happiness of this c***d was the number one important consideration.I love my wife. I love her very much. But we decided early on that we wanted to do something significant in fighting against racism; which had provoked the two of for a long time. On the news there was hardly a day that went by without some sad and tragic thing happening to someone of color (and especially to blacks). It had been Mara who had turned to me one day, while we.
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