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The following is a list of why I didn’t succeed more often:We will wake the kids - 54 timesIt’s too late - 15 timesI’m too tired - 42 timesIt’s too early - 12 timesIt’s too hot - 18 timesPretending to be asleep - 31 timesThe neighbors will hear - 9 timesHeadache or backache - 26 timesSunburn - 10 timesYour mother will hear us - 9 timesNot in the mood - 21 timesWatching the late show - 17 timesToo sore - 26 timesNew hairdo - 6 timesWrong time of the month - 14 timesYou had to go to the bathroom - 19 timesOf the 36 times that I DID succeed, the result was not always satisfying because 6 times you just laid there, 8 times you reminded me that there was a crack in the ceiling, 4 times you told me to hurry up and get it over with, 7 times I had to wake you up to tell you I was finished, and once I was afraid that I had hurt you because you started thrashing around and breathing heavy. Let’s try to improve this, shall we??Love, Your HubbyTo My Dearest Husband,I think things are a little. .....I didn't sleep well over the weekend. A pervert like me living in Japan can be imprisoned or worse before being registered as a sex offender and deported. I really didn't want to be some prison gangs play thing in a Japanese prison..................................Monday morning I arrived at school early. Japanese administrators have a real thing about anyone being late, so I always made a point of being quite early. An hour this time, I wasn't sleeping so I might as well.Miss Yummi was waiting for me in the teachers lounge and locker room. You come my office now!I hung my jacket and put my lunch in my locker. Then headed for the Gym.Gym teachers each get an office. Inside was Miss. Yummi and the drunk girl, now sober.Miss said, “Please sit” pointing at a chair and closing the door behind me.I was so surprised I just plopped down.“I explain...” “ In Japanese and very quietly “how do I say”.“I can understand well enough I think” I said in Japanese.“Very well then, I will explain.
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