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Over dinner she asked if I was truly happy with the arrangements. I told her I was, and I asked her for her opinion on how things were working out. She sat her fork down in her plate and met my gaze full on. “Jack, I want to be honest, part of my agreement was that you would repay my debt, and you have certainly brought the balance down, and the payments current, and even paid early. I had hoped that you could find a way to completely repay the debt so I could finally be free of this damned ankle bracelet.” She said in a low voice. “I am here because we made an agreement, and because I want to be here, with you. Living under the threat of having the loan foreclosed on it’s like …a threat, constantly hanging over me. What more can I do to prove to you I am yours? I have done everything I can think to reassure you. Could I ask that you find a way to free me from this?” she said pointing to her right ankle. “I’m not trying to be a bitch, truly. I just want to have what we share to be. And now this.The rest of the afternoon was a blur for me. I don't remember half of it. They didn't quite ask, "What have you had to eat in the last 24 hours?" but it was close.A couple of days after that visit to the oncologist, McKayla had surgery to remove the lump from her pancreas and we prayed for a speedy recovery. She was put on an aggressive chemotherapy and it appeared to be working for a little while.But after another month, they found more cancer. This time it had returned to her colon and was spreading. They tried everything: a different mix of chemo, radiation. We contemplated more surgery.Finally, when her doctors found it in her spinal fluid and said the next stop was her brain, we knew her time was almost up. I pleaded with her to continue with the treatments, but McKayla firmly told me that she didn't want any more."If I go through all that—the surgery, the chemo, the radiation—what's that going to get me?" she asked through teary eyes. "Another month? Two? And for.
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