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“You big fat cow! What do you need a boyfriend for when you have me?!” the little guy said rather irritated. With a snap of his tiny fingers he turned into this big blond Thor-sized muscle-bound man in tiny red Speedos. He was tan and tall and had a huge bulge in his trunks. “Wow!” I said looking at him. This lady came walking by with a small child on a leash and obviously a bun in the oven. Her belly stuck out in her maternity clothes pretty prominently. “You know, I never fucked a pregnant girl,” the Thor- sized munchkin-in-disguise said as he glanced at the pregnant woman. “Don’t get any ideas!” I warned him. “Too late!” He smiled at me. My belly rumbled. “Ooh! Hey!!” I exclaimed as I slid my hand to my sto- mach. I felt my tummy rumble again and felt it rise a little. I gasped as suddenly my abdomen expanded, rising up like I had swallowed a balloon and it was inflating in my belly. The stirrup. I looked at Ed and gave the clerk a theatrical sigh. “Looks like we got a little more to do, then. We need to write up an inventory of everything that was stolen, and its value, to attach to your statement. The Judge in Santa Fe will need that to figure out which level of crime was committed. The larger the value of the items stolen, the more serious the crime and the more prison time.” After a short pause I told the clerk, “Open the safe, pull everything out, and set it on the counter here so we can write up the inventory.”Eager to assist us, the clerk hurried over to the safe and opened it up. He came back with an arm load of documents, a small money box, and an obviously heavy burlap bag. Placing everything on the counter he said that was all there was. I asked the clerk to pick things up one at a time and tell us what it was and how much it was worth.The clerk did as I asked. While Ed wrote down what the clerk said, I examined each item to confirm what it was. The various forms,.
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