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It was the only variation of the rules I allowed and only for her.She put some great smelling food on a plate and handed it to me. I stopped by the refrigerator and got some milk for us, at sat down. She brought the rest of the food and two glasses for us. Sometimes we act like a married couple, as we ate our meal in relative silence."Why don't you have a guy friend yet?" I said putting a perfectly cooked piece of bacon in my mouth."I don't know," she said stopping to chew the food in her mouth. "It hasn't been a priority in my life. At least not yet anyway." I suppose you have some super high standards for any guy. Do you wanna share those so I can be on the lookout for you?" No ... you'd just make fun of me." Would not?" Would too," she was quick to retort."OK, whatever you want. Do you have any work to do today?" Yeah, I got an email about a story from a guy with a first chapter of a new book he wants me to look over to give him a quote on how much I would charge him to fix his. I breathe humiliation being thrust upon me like a child being chastised. Will the Lord ever forgive me for this habitual transgression – this lust of the flesh? I feel as though I can’t shake it. Every time I think I want to let it go, I give in and give up and let the pain, not the dominant, act as my master. Will this internal struggle ever end for me? It calls out to me in the middle of the night when I am lonely. I can’t believe I actually thanked God for bringing Cassius into my life because he enjoyed giving pain as much as I enjoyed receiving it. It’s a crying shame to say I can not see a day when I will let go of this thrill and rush I get with every infliction of pain to my body. Help me, Lord! The clock on the night stand next to Cassius displayed in large red numbers the time of two in the morning, so she persuaded herself to get some sleep. She silently hoped that perhaps she and Cassius would just enjoy the rest of their visit sex-free. Much to her mixed feeling of.
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