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Do you like porn?”He goes, “Yeah, I love porn. You know that.”I’m like, “Do you only watch scenes with two women together?”“No, I watch a man and a woman making love.”“Do you like the guy to have a small, half-flaccid penis?”He goes, “No, I like big, hard, throbbing cocks.”“Why are you a vegetarian?” I asked him. And it wasn’t even because meat is bad for you.He said that “raising cattle was bad for the planet -- with cow flatulence in the ozone and the clearing of land for the raising of cattle. What are you doing to help the environment?”“I’m eating the cow.”On Deer Hunting:If you ever miss one, it’s because the bullet’s moving too fast.Slow the bullet down to 55 miles an hour, put some headlights and a little horn on it -- the deer will actually jump in front of the bullet.There was a farmer who grew watermelons. He was doing pretty well, but he was disturbed by some local kids who would sneak into his watermelon patch at night and eat his watermelons. After some careful thought,. ”His frown lightened as he said, “Hmm. Perhaps ... Perhaps you should become their shepherd.”Father Xavier looked in my eyes and asked, “In the past, I helped others by forcing them to feel the weight of their sins and when someone confesses to them, they take their sins as their own. Despite the way it sounds, it gives you a better perspective on your own sins and the self-sacrifice is spiritually rewarding.”I asked, “So I would become their shepherd by taking their sins from them?”“They would need to feel the sorrow as we do. You would have to commit more sins to achieve this.”Father Reinhold had stepped over to us without us noticing him until that moment.When Father Xavier’s eyes met his, Father Reinhold said, “Tim has the moral obligation to limit their corruption and we cannot help him every minute of the day. Father Hennessy and I feel you should give him what he needs to save those who can be saved.”Father Xavier sighed and said, “It’s not that simple, Andrew. He would have to.
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