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(As you can see, my memoirs will not be in chorological order but rather based on how I remembered my patients.) I had just received an order to embalm the body of the young female that had died in the terrible tsunami disaster 3 days ago. I had seen her photograph in the newspapers and knew that she was a pretty 19-year-old student who was holidaying with her family when the disaster struck. I opened the door to the embalming room to found the body lying covered on the table. A bag that the victim’s family had brought along earlier contained the clothes that she was to be cremated in. Her family wanted an open casket funeral so I knew I had a hard time to make the corpse look presentable, as I was aware that drowning does not make pretty corpses. I pulled the cover off and was taken aback by how beautiful the girl looked even in death. She had been frozen on her trip here and had already been defrosted. I pushed her breasts to test for their suppleness which was a test I have learnt. It made me hate her that much more.Why couldn't we have a normal life? Isn't that what every 14-year-old girl wants? I never knew my dad, but why couldn't my mother be like my friends' mothers? Why did I have to clean the house and do the laundry? Why couldn't she read to me at night? Why didn't she ever meet with my teachers? Why couldn't I have nice clothes? They didn't have to be expensive, but at least fit me. And why couldn't I wear a shirt or jeans or even pink pajamas that had never been worn by someone else? Sometimes I went to a store and snuck clothes into the dressing room and tried them on just to feel what that's like. Why didn't my mother cook? We always had cold sandwiches which I usually had to make. How many times can a person eat peanut butter and jelly or bologna or tuna fish? And why did she always have a strange man in our house waking me up with their loud sex? Why did she let them do all those disgusting things to her? I guess they're more wishes than questions.
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