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Earlier stored versionsof this story inadvertently omitted this credit.The story was written (on a typewriter!) shortly after theepisode aired in 1990; at that time, the author was in themiddle of his adolescence. If you choose to judge this story,the age of the author at the time of the story's creationshould be factored into it. My Wife As A DogBy Radioactive LonerIt was a cool day at Ricky's Bar, the place where I work. By "cool" I mean that the heater was down, so we were all freezing our asses off, you know? Of course, after my love life and recent marriage, I'm pretty used to cold. Well, I guess I better introduce myself, so you know what and who the hell is going on here, eh?My name is Julie Vetrablik. Before, I was a brunette thirty-four year old waitress at Ricky's, remarkably well-endowed (if I do make that remark myself) and with a figure that men would die for. That is, before. Before the divorce, I guess, would be the best term to tell you without ruining the entire. “It was certainly an eye-opener on the tri-dee feed,” she nodded. “In the liquid form they don’t have to worry about grav changes, meaning their boarding ships can run far faster than ours.”“I suspect the Fleet ships will be getting more AI-capable close-in weapons to take them out,” I shrugged. “Don’t think I particularly want to meet one of those things at the minute.”“As things currently are? No, but we can use vacuum on them.”“Until they produce something new,” I chuckled. “They appear to be good at that.”“Yes, they appear to be studying us as we study them.”“Those promised new weapons can’t come soon enough,” I added.“Tell me about it.”‘So the Paranc were not as successful as we had hoped?’ the designated leader asked.‘No, but the second batch have been adapted to withstand vacuum a lot better than the initial batch,’ one of the intelligences replied.‘This prey fights well, unlike the previous races we’ve culled,’ the second added.‘They do indeed. It has been aeons since we have.
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