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"It'sstill early, give it time." I just wished we could bond like my mother and I did," Tonya lamented."But it's like Samantha is blaming me for Sam's death." I'm sure that's not it." That's what it feels like." Sam decided to be a firefighter, there were risks with that. You bothknew that going in. Samantha might just not understand everything rightoff the bat. Plus changing genders got to be hard on her, it did kind ofhappen over night." I didn't feel I had a choice. Mothers have daughters, Fathers..." I know," Amanda cut her friend off from repeating a mantra she had hearddozens of times. "I'm just trying to put things into Samantha'sperspective. All at once, she loses her father and a kid that wore pantsand played rough and tumble games her whole life was suddenly thrust intodresses and told to play with dolls; can't be easy on her."Tonya frowned as she poured some tea in her cup. "I know. But I stillthink it's for the best."Amanda followed her friends lead and poured her own cup. It doesn't pay much, but you'd be back at home, so you wouldn't need much. It would be enough to hold you over until you found a real job."I was 25, and I had three names. Fuck. No wonder I started drinking.That's not completely fair. I started drinking long before I had three names. You can't spend time around actors and not drink. It's part of the scenery. It's one of your props. A bottle of champagne on opening night, frozen cocktails at cast parties after the show closes, beer in the dressing room after rehearsals, wine during casting meetings. It was inevitable.There are two groups of theatre people who don't drink: children and the "recovering" ones. The children were ignored, and the recovering ones were revered. Not admired, really, but looked on as oddities. Respected, but not really a 'part' of things.Actors are unbelievably selfish creatures. They're shallow and petty and jealous and vindictive and phony. They love you as long as you're not upstaging them, but the minute.
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