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"Mom thinks you're a psychopathic loser." That's the first time your mother has been right since she hired me."Renae sat up as straight as anyone can sit up in a futon. "So you find me attractive?" She leaned towards me, thrusting out her breasts."Mark that true on your Scantron answer sheet."Renae leaned back smiled. She crossed her legs again. When my eyes locked on her thigh, she pretended not to notice. "Susan told me I needed to get out more. She mentioned her nephew who was on leave from the Marines. I agreed to meet him after school for coffee at the Hilltop." So that's why you wore that outfit?" Yes." Renae blushed. "Could I get a drink of water?" She looked around. "Do you have a clean glass?" Sure." I went to the bathroom. I knew I had a couple Dixie cups left in the dispenser. As I was running the water to chill it, I grabbed my toothbrush and brushed. This struck me as a profound act of optimism.When I returned, Renae sipped from the cup. "Most of my college dates were. I purged countless timemostly because I was disgusted with how I looked and convinced that Icould never be an attractive and passable woman.The internet replaced my cross dressing and for a long time satisfiedmy feminine urges. Viewing shemale porn sites, female impersonatorsites and reading fiction stories seemed to satisfy me.All that changed two years ago .Fifty years old ,newly divorced andliving in a small apartment the urge to feminize myself returned andthis time stronger than ever.I started to cross dress again. This time the cross dressing didn'tbring me sexual gratification. It just felt comfortable wearing femaleattire. At home I preferred to be dressed as a female as much aspossible. I started to wear female undergarments to work. I evenstarted to were some mascara and lip gloss; just enough to constantlyremind me of my feminity, but not enough for the public to notice. Aslong as I didn't look in the mirror to view myself I was comfortablewith what I was doing.I then.
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