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You broke the trance and escaped my curious hands.I pull the covers back over my head in an attempt to find shelter from the pain and responsibility outside my door. My foot will not even touch the cold wooden floor, for fear that the creaking of old wooden boards would be the apparition of you as you walked nakedly, on tip toes across my room. My mind is tortured by the thoughts I have. The things I would whisper into your ear in the choicest of moments. The look on your face as you let your body give way to the convulsing throes of climax. The scenes are burned into my psyche and I crave their oddity and wonder. Cleanse me of this imprint though I want to revel there. Cleanse me of my own desire.Even now I cannot escape the internal strife. The most intense pleasure has given way to the most solemn low. Oh honest and true love, without the dark shadow of my lust, where are you? To be so alone that you are not even with yourself. Now that is to be alone.So leave me to lie here. Let. I'm 55 years old, and I was married to Richard for 22 years until 10 years ago when the marriage ended. I'm in good shape for my age, still thin with 36c boobs. My sex life during the marriage was frequent but very limited. My husband was fifteen years older than me and very much in charge. I was his "kept woman" and expected to meet his sexual needs, though he preferred a routine from which he rarely strayed. Every Saturday he would screw me, and usually at least twice a week he would get a blowjob before bed, usually after a dinner or some other occasion to go out. He liked to have me dress in a way that was conservative but also showed off my boobs for his friends to oogle. Then when we got home I would pleasure him with my mouth until he orgasmed, and then I would go to the bathroom to spit the semen. I would occasionally masturbate in private but otherwise I never sought sexual pleasure outside of the routine he had established for all of those years. Then after 22 years I found.
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