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In the unfair universe we all inha bit, he and I both understood I was out of his league. Way out. Looks, brains, character. Boobs. It wasn’t a Beauty and the Beast chasm, nothing that radical. But our differences were out there in the open, pulsating almost.Gotta give him credit for trying though.“I live not far from here.”“Convenient.”He ordered another Coors. I was still nursing. He decided to go for humble. “Look, you’re a classy lady. Up here.” He raised his hand, palm down. “I’m a regular guy, down here.” Second palm completing the illustration. In case I’d suddenly lost my ability to understand words.“Don’t fish for compliments.”He blushed and frowned at the same time. Then, nothing to lose, “Come by my pad. It’s close. Ten minutes.”“Is that the best thing about it? It’s close?”Blush deepened. Then, “No, the best thing is I’m in it. You won’t regret it.”“Look, you seem like a nice enough guy. You probably have your share of little Kansas girls who take you up on that offer.. Making a split-seconddecision I cleared those dresses out. Enough playing the little girl, Iwas a big girl now.It never occurred to me to think of myself as a little or big boy. Howshould I do that considering all the things in the closet.The box in which my ball gown had been was empty, since that dress nowhung in the closet. Why did it, because I sure didn't know, when -andwhether- I'd ever wear it again. I picked up the box and laid thedresses in.As I did that I thought about how Kai had kissed me. The dress broughtback the memory. Strangely enough it didn't seem SO terrible any more. Ireally couldn't explain my panic at that time any more.Somehow it wasn't different than with Biene. A kiss between boy andgirl. Or was it? Was I in that case now the girl or not?I went into the kitchen and poured myself a coffee from the thermos. Itwas becoming clear to me that it wasn't just here that something hadchanged. A short time ago I couldn't stand coffee, now I really enjoyedit a lot. Even.
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