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Perhaps this was the best he could hope for, he had left the warmth and comfort of believe behind so long ago now, had made so many turns and twists in this featureless landscape that he no longer even knew which direction retreat lay in. Yet he could not accept that the salvation of the fall was all that remained to him, he clung to the belief that there was another end awaiting discovery. How he hated this belief: it was as empty as the step he feared, stemming from nothing but his need to escape and his arrogance in thinking he could. Why could he not let go? It had been so long, why must he continue to torture himself with hope? Why was he here again tonight, hadn’t he been here often enough to know that there would be no answers? Every year he returned to this night that he lived over and over again, and every year nothing. Why can’t you see, you stupid old man! There has always been nothing! There will always be nothing! There is… No, no! Even after all these years he could. . less than exciting, to say the least. Looking back, I don’t think I orgasmed at all. After that, I wasn’t even sure what all the big deal was about sex. My roommate was still a virgin and tried to get me to join some religious abstinence-only-keep-your-virginity club. She was very disappointed in me when I told her it was too late. But, to be honest, sex wasn’t important. After I met my husband, it was better and I know I often came, but it was still nothing terribly special. Seriously, it was a brief bit of exercise more than anything else. My husband, Jared, wasn’t demanding, and after a few years, we sort of fell into a routine about it. It was more like “Oh, it’s Friday, let’s have sex.” I know, very boring and vanilla. Now one ever told me there were more positions than just him on top facing me! But up until that minute, the very idea that I could cum until I couldn’t think any more was totally foreign to me.That was until Chic took me there right after meeting her. I.
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