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I almost lost my composure at that point but i said my goodbyes and walked away with all these lustful thoughts running around my mind i wanted to meet this milk man and i was going to do my best to find this man and hope to have the experience my perverted mind craved,I drove to this little village every weekend for six weeks and got nothing, i would park my car in the village and simulate wandering about just as my friend had did, i did that on Friday and Saturday night every week for those six weeks and then finally on the seventh weekend i waited outside the dairy where the milk truck had come from and just walked up and down the road for a short distance so to not miss the truck, then eventually a truck came out of the entrance and sure enough he stopped when he saw me put his window down and uttered those magic words that i had been craving the moment my friend had told me about him and that was "do you want a lift somewhere young man" he said i replied with a big smile "yes. Because I was positive that I'd just burn up like a moth in your bright flame and utterly surrender myself to you."Once the car restoration was done and you still kept returning to see me, I knew I was then trapped. I needed to fulfill my promise to my mother and I also truly believed that I was too young to get permanently attached. I was just twenty-four, just a bit older than you by about six months, but that wasn't really the main issue. I wanted to be with you, to move in with you the moment you asked, but then I'd be completely trapped for good, unable from that point to deny anything else of myself to you. I'd then break that vow and become your wife, then becoming little by little as I feared just another possession of yours. I know this feeling was unworthy of me, that you would have indeed cherished me and not just as an ornamental decoration, but I felt already trapped and I was desperate to find a way to escape without hurting your feelings or breaking your heart. I had.
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