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The Now, what the world as become, that’s where it all went. It never really left, it just concentrated itself in a different pocket of time in my life. All this is really just a longer sidewalk that moves so much more sporadically. I still spin around, searching, looking, hunting. It’s just not for time, any more. I’m no longer concerned with fading memories of birthdays or eroded milestones. I’ve moved up to a bigger game. Where are those friends, who spun around with me? Where did the laughter echo away to? Where’s that God damn airport, even? They don’t exist in this time, unless you consider the burnt out memories of times before now. I suppose somewhere in this world, there’s an airport. A hollow, shelled husk of what I’d refer to as an airport. Maybe my friends still exist in some way. Maybe they exist beyond the weakening memories. Do they remember me? Am I just a weak, rough memory for their minds to ponder over, as well? Am I just a wilted, discarded husk in a long since. Poor Agnes. Sorry…’ I indicate the end of my hushed apology with an ‘I’m done now, dramatic emotional scene over, as you were.’ raised palm. Mortified, I close my eyes like it’s all too much. I want to keep them closed forever, or at least until the communion wafers have been doled out, final hymn sung and Agnes bloody McCormac has been shunted back down the aisle on the shoulders of her loving family, with the rest of the congregation following behind. It’s too late to duck back out, find St Patrick’s For Protestants, slip in the back, offer my condolences to Billy’s wife and sons, my new bosses afterward… Isn’t it? What fancy tricks did old snake chaser Pat get up to in Ballytorr to be honoured with both churches named after him anyway? And on the same road? Mind you, this is the back end of nowhere, probably not many roads in Ballytorr at all, but still! Similar muddles must surely be common enough to warrant a visual alert of sorts out front. Bible shaped signage announcing.
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