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"The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, then adds, "It's just 99 cents a word." Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette only has $1 left. She realizes that she'll only be able to send her sister one word.After a few minutes of thinking, she nods and says, "I want you to send her one word: comfortable."The operator shakes his head. "How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her just the word 'comfortable'?"The brunette explains, "My sister's blonde. The word's big. She'll read it very slowly ... com-for-da-bull."The next two are Compliments of mousepotatoesThree little old ladies are sitting on the nursing home porch talking about this and that.One holds her hands about a foot apart and says "I remember going to the store and buying cucumbers this long."Another one says, "Yeah and you could get oranges this bit around," giving a good. He expects things. With the two of us, it was no problem. I wanted to take care of my Daddy, to try to pay him back for all the good things. Because there were lots of good things. I had an almost unlimited line of credit until recently. He patched my scraped knees and, more important, he taught me how to patch them when he couldn't be there and how to prevent myself from scraping them in the first place. He made me look at who Jill O'Hara was and how she fit into this world of ours. And how she could survive better. From the time I could talk, he treated me as a person. Take a look around and see how many people actually act as if their child has a brain in his or her head. Not many.There was food, there was a really nice place to live with my own space and a kitchen and an entertainment room that he almost never set foot it, there were the ridiculously overpriced cars. There was love and respect. How many fourteen year olds can tell their father they're ready to go on birth control.
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