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Big fucking whoop. Like there aren't enough ofthose to go around. The world lost some big fucking dumb ass loser.I'm here now. He paid the price, and that... other person... did, too.And I'm the result. I'm what they paid for. I'm your sister, I'mMom's daughter, I'm friends with Sarah, I'm girlfriends with Tamara.Almost all of my friends are girls and maybe we don't always get alongor think the same things, but I think and feel like them. And Ifucking hate boys. So why obsess over things we can't change now?Things I don't even WANT to change." You fucking remember that, too," Emily said, her dark eyes narrow."Whenever anyone poops on your parade, you repeat that whole speech toyourself, Honey Bunny."I blinked."It will get you through. When it hurts to be a girl, you fucking tellyourself all that again and again. And maybe you'll be okay. Maybeyou'll live."My heart thrummed. Emily's mouth moved as if she had something shewanted to say. Instead, she smiled, and her eyes. Once, early on in the budding romance between Vanessa and me, I asked her, “Honey, do you want me to try to track down that Milwaukee guy?”The pedophile who had purchased, and adopted, little Sasha Andrushchenko. And later sold her, or gave her, to a whorehouse madam. Perhaps in Chicago.Vanessa was surprised, then thoughtful. “I wonder if he could still be alive. He’d have to be in his 80s or 90s. GrandmaMA was never sure about his age.”“How about I put out some light feelers? Daddy will know someone in Milwaukee who could point me in the right direction.”“Okay. Thank you. I won’t say anything to GrandmaMA. Nor Marina. Not until we know. And maybe not then.”“It’s better to know, Vanessa.”She smiled at me, a little sadly, “That is why I love you, tough girl.” The first time she’d told me that.Before talking with Daddy, I accessed the Wisconsin Adoption Records Search Program. Then I put Cathy Austin on it, “Use Carolyn, she should be able to hack into the state’s Department of Children.
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