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This typically means she needs your help with something.“What do you need?” you answer, with a small smile. Kelly laughs.“I’m like an open book, aren’t I?” she replies, “I thought I’d finally clean out the cupboard under the stairs, would you mind helping me?” She’s referring to the cupboard where over the years, various bits of detritus, boxes, magazines, childhood toys, old DVDs and even VHS tapes have accumulated until the room is basically an eyesore, one that both of you had chosen to ignore as too messy to ever sort through. Until now, you guess.“I guess,” you sigh. This is gonna take all day.“There might be some cool stuff in there, come on sweetie,” your mom replies.Resigned to your fate, you head downstairs with her and begin the seemingly impossible task of clearing out the cupboard under the stairs.Hours later, you’re maybe a third of the way through, having already filled a huge garbage bag with rubbish – broken toys, old video tapes, useless junk – but you keep going.. "Yes'm," I said with a smile, and I took the girl's hand and hurried her down the stairs and out to my car. "Buckle up," I said, thinking what I should do first, which was probably bonk her. But she smelled almost as bad as she looked.I took her to the only full-scale spa in town, ignored her whining, hustled her inside and told the lady at the desk, "Give her the works, especially the hair. Take care of her nails, shave her pubic hair and underarms if she needs it, to bikini at least, and then give her a good, shingled hair cut, pixie maybe, Hepburn. How long?" Give us a couple of hours at least, make it three," she said with a smile. "What's her name?" Angela," I said and then to the girl, "be cooperative and you will be rewarded, I promise. Be a pain in the ass, and you'll be sorry."I went off and did some Saturday chores, bought her some underpants, size small, and a flowered sundress, size small, and came back after lunch. I guessed the sizes, figuring she was between zero and.
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