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I just spent days drooling over London's ladies - and I had no luck with women at that time - until one day ...I was going from Embankment to Kings Cross on the Northern Line. If you know that line well you will understand that from that station up to about Tottenham Court road it can be quite busy on those trains. Well I was standing by the door at the top of the carriage which joins the next carriage and I was hemmed in at all sides - couldn't move. The train was damned busy with tourists, trampy new agers and city boys and girls.At Leicester Square a load of people got off and an even bigger crowd boarded - squeezing me against the door. I was turnded towards the door and looking at a nice girl inside the other train when I became aware of something very nice, soft and warm pressing against my back. In the din I heard high pitched female voices and I turned around. Pressed up against me was a gorgeous young lady with a very short white skirt and her bottom was pressed right. What the FUCK? I look at the wife and say, "Why did you program the GPS? Hell, we make this same trip twice a year. I know where I'm going." I know Honey but I like to see how much farther we have to go so I turned her on." Crap. Now I have to listen to the damn bitch moan and groan all day because I don't take the route she wants me to take. Ok, now I'm almost three fourths mile from home and I turn ... wait for it ... I turn RIGHT because that is the shortest route time wise to where we are headed. The GPS is programmed for the FASTEST route—HA! I have proven distance wise AND time wise my route is shortest AND fastest but the GPS wants me to stay on major highways and interstates so I can DRIVE faster.Ok, you got it. As soon as I turn right the bitch says, "Make a U Turn when possible." Of course I keep going. Hell, I know where I'm headed. The estimated mileage to our destination keeps rising as I go farther along the WRONG route. Every major intersection I come to I hear, "Right.
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