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My wife was in labour with our first child. Things were going pretty well when suddenly she began to shout “Shouldn’t! Wouldn’t! Couldn’t! Can’t!” “Doctor, what’s wrong with my wife!” I cried. “It’s perfectly normal” he reassured me “She’s just having her contractions”.Murphy came home plastered for the third night in a row. His wife dragged him to the window, pointing to the blazing lights of the big distillery in the distance. “See how big it is?” she said. “They can always make it faster than you can drink it”. “Maybe so” said Murphy “But I’ve got ‘em working nights!”A woman buys a new Sim Card. She puts it in her phone and decides to surprise her husband, who is seated on the couch in the living room. She goes to the kitchen, calls her husband with the new number: “Hello Darling”. The husband responds in a low tone: “Let me call you back later, Honey, my wife is in the kitchen”.A lady to doctor: “My husband has a habit of talking in his sleep! What should I give him to cure it?”. On the way to the club my friend calls me and tells me its his sisters birthday (she's the one in the blue thong in my pic in my profile) and they're goin to the bar. well me and his sister have a long history and we kinda ended on a bad note. well i use my green and liquid courage to go to the bar they are at. its not very packed but its quite a few ppl there, so i go to the bar a get 2 more beer and just check out the scene. halfway through my 2nd beer i spot her goin to the dance floor. she looks so sexy tonight wearin a short black dress barely coverin her ass and black heels. well i see a few friends now and i go talk to them tryin to get my mind off that beautiful ass of her's. so after another beer i'm headed to the bathroom and she's' commin out. She looks at me and smiles, which i am suprised about cause she told me she HATED my guts. So i smile back and tell her happy birthday. well eventually we were on the dance floor together bumpin and grinding. I can tell.
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