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I was once again in myboy's clothes and was lying down on my bed thinking of boys. I must begay. That was the only answer that I have. I must be a freak. I know I amnot a girl. I am just a sissy and a gay, everything you don't want me tobe. It is time that I end it all. Remember that I love you.Love you and this is the end....Now is a chance to pee and to get some handkerchiefs or something todrink. It is advised to wait a few minutes to read the epilogue,It has been several months since I wrote this letter. The Question youare asking is if I am in heaven or Hell.The answer is heavenBut it is heaven on earth. Writing this letter was good for myself. Itlet me open my heart not to others, but to myself. I did not kill myself. I did not commit suicide. Why?Because Suicide is a sin. God gives us life. He gives us a chance onearth to learn who we are. He is not a God that will throw us in hellbecause we feel that we are confused. He is a God of love and compassion.He could have made me a. Amazingly, after a few minutes I glanced at my watch and saw that over two hours of total bliss had passed. Eventually I rolled off my lovely Dutchman into Diane’s arms, and he got up and went and fetched us fresh glasses of champagne, brought them back to the sofa and sat beside us girls and we chatted inconsequentially for 15 or 20 minutes. I knew he hadn’t cum in all that time, but I knew from previous sessions that he could go for hours without cuming. He enjoyed holding back and only cuming, and then cuming with an amazing explosion, when we came to the end of our time together with him buried in my arse.So when Diane and I had pulled ourselves together, I said, “Darling Adriaan, would you like my lover and I to put on a lesbian show for you now, and when we have done that, you can choose which arse you would like to empty your spunk into?”Adriaan laughed, and then put his arm around Diane and said to her, “I have been fucking your lovely friend for months now, and in that time.
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