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A man stood up and walked slowly to the podium. He said, "I'm Phil."The entire congregation held its breath. "I just want to tell my wife the word is sternum."Dear Family & Friends,I am sorry that I have not been consistently responsive lately to your emails. I have been somewhat under the weather since my doctors informed me that I have an acute case of Post Islamic Stress Trauma with Apologetic Whitehouse Fatigue (PIST-AWF). For those of you who do not know what that is, PIST-AWF is a newly defined disease that is found to be widespread and highly contagious.Symptoms include, but may not be limited to: Severe pain of the scalp from pulling your own hair while viewing the President pander to Muslim terrorists.Loose bowels from swallowing the fact we elected Obama twice.Extreme hunger due to vomiting from nightly seeing terrorists murdering innocent people.If you feel you have Post Islamic Stress Trauma with Apologetic Whitehouse Fatigue, please notify your local election board and. ‘Oh, it’s you Becca. Are you staying for dinner?’ ‘Miss Kate,’ Becca was shouting with excitement. ‘Danny’s on You Tube.’ Mom took hold of Becca’s cell and moved it to where she could clearly see the images. I was standing on the small stage at Breens. Becca could be seen behind her keyboard. I watched them closely and then Mom’s eyes moved to look directly at me. I felt as if she could see through me with the intensity of her stare. Her face softened and she smiled. I wondered if the awkwardness between us had gone. It didn’t. Even with Becca staying until after dinner Mom was distant. By the end of the evening the clip had multiplied into a dozen and there had been close on one hundred thousand hits. The following Monday morning it was as if nothing had happened, breakfast was as it always had been. We chatted. Mom asked if I was working late. Then I headed off to school. Things changed that lunchtime. I sensed something when I caught several students who I had never met or spoken.
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