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I didn’t know how to react. So, I kept silent. I knew you would be shocked. But I had to tell you, since you are my best friend, he said. I am not shocked. I don’t think it makes any difference to me. It doesn’t change anything between us,The prisoner in me spoke out of turn. Oh, Souvik! I am so relieved to hear that. I always feared that I might lose you after telling you this,” he said and gave me a tight hug, happy that he had just come out to his best friend, who he thought was straight. In the next four years, Joy shared every bit of his gay life with me – guys he hooked up with, his gay friend circle, parties he went to and colorful gossip about handsome Tollywood actors. He was rather amazed that I never felt awkward to hear all that, instead alwaysexpressed an uncanny interest.He didn’t know that in reality he was lending me a vision of the world I distantly belonged to, but still feared to step into. Meanwhile, I had fallen victim to the new invader of the human life – the. You were the one.’ I couldn’t reply. How could I have? What does one say to someone who reveals a lifelong pledge of such deep measure? I felt so stupid… so inarticulate in my reply. ‘Oh Cyn.’ I uttered in a loving tone. ‘Why didn’t you ever say anything?’ I could hear the growing sadness in her words. Our conversation now was one of thoughtful consequence. I could tell she was gently crying, although she was trying her best to hide it. She was never good at trying to keep anything from me… she should have known better. ‘I just… I just thought you were so in love with Gary.’ She stuttered between tears. ‘You know, being that way was always something weird or crazy.’ She had a point. Girls at our school who were gay were always shunned, or f***ed to live with their natural ambitions in agonizing silence. I had a few times wondered if Cindi was this way, but being so wrapped up in the day to day events of a teenager superseded those significant matters of the heart. I felt so bad for.
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