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General Lucius Claudius Draconis shifted in his saddle. His bones ached from the chill. How he missed the warm, sunny climate of Rome! He shivered against the cold, and pulled his cloak up tightly against his neck to keep the wet snow from dribbling down his back. A white blanket had shrouded the land during the night, adding to his misery.But it had aided them in capturing the barbarian bitch who had been dispatched to spy on them. They caught her hiding in the hills within earshot of their newly-constructed fort.With typical Roman efficiency, they cut down a tree, fashioned a cross, and crucified her outside the walls of the fort within an hour.Under normal circumstances they would have gang-****d her first, with every man in the garrison enjoying the pleasures of her most intimate orifices.But it was just too blasted cold!She was an Arverni girl, a pretty little thing, although now her nubile body was marred with bloody whip welts. She hung nailed to her cross, naked, shivering. ” She looked at the woman and then between her legs. “It’s your schlong. It’s too small. I’ve received a number of complaints about it.” The woman’s penis was not thick or long like the queen’s, the guardswomens’ or any inhabitant with a penis. Her’s was thick like a sausage even without an erection and was almost reaching her knees as is hung before the queen. “What are the charges, your Highness?” Queen Peenatricia stood from her throne. “I have the list of charges right here. First, your schlong is too thin. An individual’s whole hand can wrap around it. Second, on your records, it reads on your last measurement your penis was only 14 and a half inches long when completely erect. Third, your sperm count when you ejaculated measured only 10 tablespoons. The average volume for an ejaculation is three gallons. Fourth, you aren’t circumcised. All schlongs are required to be presentable and that means the head must be seen at all times. “Fifth, your schlong can fit into a woman’s mouth..
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