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You turn off the TV and take your books to your bed. You check the time and your messages. Nothing new from me. You scroll through our previous conversations, glad that you can keep track of our chats now that no one checks your phone. You curl up and dream of the day that I can be there next to you. My tiny hands on your chest and you wrapped around me, protecting me from all the evils of the world. You grab your body pillow and pretend its me.You don’t know half of the atrocities I have been through. But can imagine there are a lot and they are painful because I refuse to talk about them. Your sweet tender happiness turns to melancholy as you tear yourself down, wondering why you are my number two, not my number one. After sadness comes anger, jealousy. Why do I ignore you at night? If I loved you enough, I would find time to text, somehow. You think of me loving him. Imagining him leaving kisses all over me, and me being completely happy with him. The jealous tears come out of you. Also, it will be a shakedown hike to determine what we need for longer trips and the true backpacking we came here for.”“Should I be able to do anything for you, please let me know,” Sophia said in accented but easily understood English. Smiling, she turned and left them.After the meal, the women helpfully stacked the few dishes the group had used on the counter.“You mentioned backpacking. Where do you intend going, if I might ask?” Dr. Müller, the male version, questioned as they were all leaving the table.Phillip and Dessie glanced at each other, and she said, “We aren’t sure at this point. We planned to head toward the mountains. We don’t have any intention of climbing high into them, but hope to find a secluded place that speaks to us. Once we find that ‘perfect’ place, we hope to set up a more permanent camp and remain there until we have to return for food. Maybe something with a waterfall where we could bathe under it and maybe relax at a pool where we could watch the fish and.
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