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Oh, he made an effort, sometimes, but she could tell it was an effort. She sighed and considered trying to get a court order to force him into therapy... But no, that would alienate him even more.Jason was not unaware of his mothers worry. While he felt emotion, it was usually anger or rage. It would spring into being over the most minor and inconsequential of circumstances. It left him wondering, 'why'? It was very hard to control, and he had found himself reaching for... what?Also, he had been dreaming strange dreams, lately. Most were of him fighting. Some were of fighting horrible looking beings that he had no fear of, and others were of fighting beautiful beings he wanted to emulate. It confused him.In the last two dreams, he had known whom he was fighting, and how to fight them. The dream faded to a faint hazy recollection upon waking, though, leaving him feeling frustrated. He believed the dreams were telling him something. He knew the dreams were something about his life, his. And she thanked me for knowing to call her. Nowto get this place looking decent. And I haven?t much time to pick upthree rooms, put away these (and a fair amount of other) clothes, getthis make-up off, shower, and get going. No rest for the wicked isright!As I pick up and straighten up (and try to put off changing for as longas possible) I do think back to moments from last night, the coupling,how Jillian felt next to me, my lame attempts at pleasing her, untilshe gently guided me to what really mattered. And then! Going intothe other bedroom and her encouraging me to try on some of my outfits. And her actually liking some of them on me, and trying some on herself,and suggesting I toss others. Oh, well.I was surprised when, in a quiet moment, she asked if I would see herdoctor the next day to talk about the sex change and transitioning.?Tomorrow? That seems so quick!??I know, but if you?re committed, at least you should start talking toa doctor. And since I have one, a good one.
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