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I was starting to gettears in my eyes because I thought I'd failed. Tomorrow I would betwenty-five and I was not a girl. Sure, internally I knew I was awoman, but that wasn't what my middle school self expected. Then Ireread it several times. First it said "be a girl." Hmm, "girl" or"woman"? The writer in me decided that the word choice of a, (what wasI then twelve?), a twelve year old was a semantic problem. I didn'tknow back then that I should have said, "Identify as a trans woman." SoI penciled in an edit. Next I realized that "twenty-five" when used tomean an age, was not a singular point in time. It covered a full year,365 days! It was not too late!I've known for sometime that I could start HRT (letter from mytherapist or by informed consent). So, determined not to waste one moreminute, I looked up clinic locations and made an appointment for thatafternoon. Next I decided that I needed help and that I needed friends.So I searched for transgender support groups. I was having. Now you have to take more care about your self. i am giving you some medicines . take them properly and please avoid to carry heavy weights . it could be the reason of miscarriage. in next meeting i will check your pregnancy through ultra sound machine. '''' thanks alot Jenny it can't be possible if you dont help me so thanks my friend jenny.'''' its ok karuna . you are my friend and its my duty to think about you. now you have to go home and take rest.'' and one more thing karuna you have to avoid the mating with your dog till your delivery.'' ok dr. i would '' bye . and then i returned to my home.Two weeks into february , i had to wear the loosest clothes i could find over my pregnant belly - i figured i looked about four and a half months pregnant. i drove to a shopping mall and nervously bought a couple pair of maternity jeans, a few giant flannel smocks, and a nightgown. Then i got enough stamps to mail all my bills for the next few months and had the oil tank filled so no one.
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