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It's payday again, and I know I have lost weight, my bras are so loose, I just don't fill the cups like a used to. I stand in front of the bedroom mirror again and measure myself. 40 - 34 - 44 not bad and probably only a D cup. I turn and look at myself, my boobs were always my best feature, now stand out proudly with very little droop. Time I started going out more often, wearing some of my older and sexier clothes that again fit me; those white jeans though are still a distant dream. Rummaging though my draws I find my old photo album, '1997 summer holiday', there I was on the beach, spilling out of my little bikini; and there was Paul the bastard.It's payday again and my monthly ritual begins, the tape measure tells it's own story. 40 - 30 - 42, my bust is still holding up but I have lost inches everywhere else; time for some new knicks again. For the first time I try on those Jeans, hey I can get in them, even if I can't do them up. I'm feeling good about myself now, and I have. "I thought I had," he said. "In my mind I had a lover, bits and pieces of those who ignored me, and I constructed him. But it wasn't love, because love is two. It was fantasy and self pleasure, do you understand? Like when I was alone in bed he would be there and I would pleasure myself." Oh my," said the shocked girl, and then she giggled."Finally out of school, graduated, I decided to take pictures of pretty girls like you. I'd been taking pictures since my mom got me a Brownie when I was five. I stopped girls in the park or on the street and asked if they'd let me shoot them. I felt brave with girls, no threats there and they sometimes agreed. I created a portfolio and went into a modeling agency and showed them. Only then did I meet people I could communicate with. And the men shared my interests, sexually and otherwise. And the first one I met I fell in love with, a cute boy working on hair for the models. Just because he talked to me and flirted with me, I thought I'd found.
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