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You begin to be aware, though, of something on the fringe, a spectre of discomfort with the category of thoughts you had unquestioningly believed were normal... and then you decide that this spectre must have a name. Most figure out that their fantasies are forbidden, and then spend the rest of their lives suppressing them without ever trying to understand them. A few discover leech websites and forums online, alone in their rooms at night with their heads compulsively twisting over their shoulders, dampening keyboards with sweaty palms. Once they learn, unlearning is difficult; still, some try their hardest. Others join the forums and read the websites, and begin to lead a secret double life on the Internet. Only about a half percent of hosts fully understand that the leech is not a parasite; it is a way of life.As a member of that half-percent, I met a salty, harsh, unforgiving sea of sameness in mainstream society. Serious employers would not hire me, or they'd let me go as soon. But he was asleep listening to his mp3 player whilst snoring (Gaily). I know this because I past him on my way out of the presentation room.I tried to ignore it, but another giggle giggled its way to my hearing. It was irritating, so in the great tradition of lonely women in empty buildings, I had to have a look. It could have been screams and the sounds of a revving chainsaw, but I still would have gone for a look, though only to carry out my requisite duties as office manager, (You know, too ensure that psychopath was correctly trained and licensed in the use of a chainsaw, that the fire marshal was warned of the presence of combustible two stroke fuel and that no animals or potted plants would be harmed).I threaded my way around desks and partitions, following the occasional giggle. Somebody was having fun. Not bloody allowed in this bloody office, or at least not unless I was invited. I walked around a partition and my life went the way of a Windows program. It froze, and then.
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