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I would look odd especially after what I was wearing at the time.I began to cry again, my mom came to comfort me she held me in her arms. "Jamie, the pills you have been taking for two months were not just vitamins." What were they then," I gasped.She then told me for two months she had been giving me female hormone supplements, and birth control pills to keep my skin smooth."School starts in a week, how can I go if I look like a girl?"What I didn't know was that my mom had already fixed that problem, she modified my transfer documents so that everything would show me as always being a girl."Don't worry about a thing baby, I have taken care of everything, you have already been registered as Jamie Alexandria Carter."I was amazed at the thought of going to school as a fourteen year old girl. My mom told me that because I had been taking the hormones for so long now that the present changes were permanent, and that she thought I should continue to take them during school.I could not. Just how passing their desire for Catherine might have been I did not know, but my own desire was I believe much wider than theirs. Yes, I wanted to bed Catherine, but was that all? Admitting to myself the truth of my longing, it was certainly much more than the occasional bedding of Catherine I needed. I went so far as to admit that it was marriage I wanted. Of course, all this contemplation of a future with Catherine took place without any idea that she would slot neatly into my designs. In any case, I doubted whether I would have the courage to approach her. I also considered another extreme possibility: I would break off my connection with her, Not go to her house or use her books, No longer engage in conversations with her. At the end of these reflections, I felt physically sick. The thought of breaking with my beloved was horrifying. Come what may, I had to press on, even if I did not know where I was going. It seems to be a rule of human nature that there comes a time in.
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